should have known better than to cheat a friend

Who do I love?? My thoughts have been so unorganized lately, I believe it's time to blog and let it all (well most of it) out. I think a good spill-all is necessary.

Basically two parts of me are battling right now. Good vs. evil, that classic war, is going on inside my head. Here's the deal... I know that, given our past, dating him wasn't a good idea. I didn't think anything would come from it. Even at the beginning, I didn't think that I would even end up telling you, because I didn't think it would be a big enough deal to tell you. I knew you'd be pissed, I knew he was your good friend. I knew what you thought of him with women. I didn't care. In your situation, ignorance is bliss... that's why I lied to you so much. I know that isn't the kosher way to justify deception, but it's the truth, for once. Here's the truth. I don't know why I loved you so much, to be honest. You were a great friend, but I have a lot of great friends. I think I loved you so much because you adored me. I do that sometimes. Ugh. I'm so unorganized right now! I'll finish this later when I make more sense yo.